Some time back(maybe yesterday), I saw a tag about women you love (not like). I don’t remember the details so I can take advantage of my temporary amnesia and give my twist to the tag- women you would want to have if you were a lesbian.

I think my tag is way cooler than the original one ,in which everyone’s list had the mandatory presence of Maharani Gayatri Devi , somewhat like having Citizen Kane on the list of Top 10 movies.Tell me how many of you have actually watched that movie.If you have not,let me save you the torture- it is a crashing bore,donot let those intel-types fool you otherwise.Come to think of it, how many of you have actually slept with MGD? Or seen her recent pics,not the sepia tinted ones, with Jaqueline Onassis. Is she alive?

Okay here goes my tag – women who occur in my wet dreams

With her ample bosoms and luscious lips,its difficult to concentrate on what she does best-cook. And oh so effortlessly- and it helps that everything in her kitchen seems to come pre-cut,pre-paste,pre-grind.And she has an appliance for everything.She looks the kind who gets her orgasms by feeding good food to her family and generally one of those Martha Stewart types whose aim in life is to set the perfect dining table and who actually uses words and things like antimacassars.And the way she tastes food by putting her fingers in her mouth and letting out a Mmmmmm .Who am I to deprive her of her pleasure!!!Come to me Nigella.Feed me Nigella.Mother me Nigella.(Oh no, this is like Odepius Complex,except that I am a female.What will this be called then?)

nigella

So when Nigella is busy catering to my baser instincts, this woman can tickle my funny bone every now and then.(e.g.You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” – I read this many times ,just didn’t know it was hers,but that whats google says)

The only good part about her chat show is when she dances ,especially when she straddles the table.Ellen DeGeneres.

Daytime Emmy Awards Show

And this is my original pin up lady. I first saw her on Readers Digest or Parade , I forgot.(See kids, in the good old days before cable , we had but two or three sources of foreign news.The third been the one hour show of Prannoy Roy ‘The World this Week’).Oh what a mole – hers I mean, not Prannoy’s.I too have a mole,but on my nose.Other than that, I think we pretty much look alike-except for the hair colour..and the height..and the weight.. Give me your mole Cindy

CindyCrawford (This is not her best picture,but the one which shows her mole the best)

And since we are getting into specifics, I would love to have this woman’s lips.And her soft lilting laugh..And her sparkling eyes and pert nose. Charlize Theron makes me want to make millions only so that I can woo her princess style

charlizetheron

And once we are out of the bed, you know who I would like to take out for coffee?

Meg Ryan thats who.But only the Meg Ryan of short tousled justoutofbed ohclumsyme hair cut.We will go for coffee,maybe go bowling,or catch up on a movie and then a couple of drinks .Yes I have the dates all planned out.But I don’t think I can do it with her.Sorry Meg, its not you.Its me.I need space in our relationship.Maybe we will take it slowly.I will call you.Sometime soon….

meg-ryan-hair-top

So there you are .Thats what goes on inside my dirty mind.

You might question the absence of any Indians on this list.Actually there are a few -but they are not famous, yet.And I am not sure if my friends/teachers/hostel warden (ok ok the last one was a cliche.In reality, my hostel wardens were pretty much like all hostel wardens – ugly,single,dowdy and frustrated) will be ecstatic to see their name on this list.

Tell me, who features in your lesbian orgy?

P.S.For the straight male readers,with  whom would you want a threesome ?, which guy gets you all hot and sweaty ?

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