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Vagina monologues-or Feminism Phase II :new excuses for lazy slobs to not work!!!

March 8, 2008

I finally get to see Vagina Monologues, a play I have missed umpteenth times before.

An award winning play by Eve Ensler, it has been slightly adapted to Indian settings.The Indian adaptation has theatre actor Dolly Thakore, Avantika Akerkar, television actor Jayati Bhatia and Sonali Mahimtura Sachdev. So you have the Parsi old lady and the Gujarati woman all talking about various aspects of the vagina-sex,menstruation, rape, orgasm,masturbation etc etc.

It was a brilliantly executed play -funny and poignant.I especially liked Jayati Bhatia’s rendering of different kinds of orgasm – had all of us in splits.

The play , however, left me with a bitter feeling about this whole big thing -feminism.When I see all (sorry most) of my female friends so confidently proclaiming that they are feminists that I get scared.I for one definitely hate anything pushed down my throat (am I the only who is thinking dirty now) and at times I feel the play was trying to do that.When I see their passion I feel maybe I am betraying the sisterhood by not being so equivocal about gender equality.

Actually I will tell you what my problem is.My problem is that most of the feminist talk I get are from friends who are housewives.Not homemakers.Not house-organisers or whatevever is the proper term now.But house wives.

And the explanation they give is that feminism is about making one’s own choice and hence they chose not to work..Brilliant Logic.I think they were very quick to jump the initial phase of feminism -equality in terms of earning for your own self and not depending on your father or husband.And then they wonder why they are not taken seriously. Baby when you are living off your husband’s credit card its hard for us to take you all that seriously.We will of course humour you your little indulgence.I am not talking about all housewives.I can only speak for people with the same background as mine.Middle or upper middle class with a decent education (atleast a graduate degree) – basically people who have absolutely no business not working.It gets on my goat how casually these woman give up a budding career and all under the hogwash of feminism.Many take a break when they get married- a break which very soon gets extended to years and years of staying at home.How come I have never seen a man ever take a break when he is getting married.Come on, was he ever given that option? I mean its a life changing event for him too.Jesus if you are that lazy not to work, admit it and move ahead.And be prepared to play second fiddle to the one who gets the bacon home.AND SPARE ME THE LECTURE ON FEMINISM!!

I hate my work.I am not too good at it either.I hate having to get up at 7 in the morning ,drive for an hour AND read two extremely boring financial papers and then decide trade ideas-all before 9 and before I even had my cup of coffee.BUT I do it and there are thousands of women like me (including in my circle of friends) who are doing the same stuff.They are not shouting from the roof tops about feminism or about equality.They are WORKING for it .And before you have a wrong image of me, let me clarify that I am NOT an ambitious hard working career minded woman.On the contrary I am extremely lazy and as days go by have been lowering my ambitions to suit my lifestyle.But I am working because I have to .I donot have an option.Just like every man who is working needn’t be equally driven by his work.Infact a majority of them are working to earn a living or to splurge on things they really like.

And these same bunch of feminists are also the ones who have long winding passionate arguments about why they are so cool because they have stuck to their maiden names and not taken their husbands surname after marriage.You have really made it my friend but sticking to your name.Now lets see you get off your ass and do some work.And these are the grave issues that bog them down.

I also have heard the warped logic that taking care of the house is equally important.Like yeah.Whats the worst that can happen if you forget to get the groceries? Bad appraisal from your husband?.Maybe your husband wants to stay at home for a change.Again, has this option ever been talked out.Also can you gurantee that you will make enough money as your husband to maintain the same life style?

I hope I am talking for all my fellow female friends who are too tired and worn out after a hard day’s work in office to even come up with some insane logic about feminism. We work , we crib about work, we bitch about our office and we go back to work the next day! We also have fun and can laugh at ourselves since we are not so bogged down by our gender identity.We can talk about each other’s sex life (or lack of it in some cases ;-)) without getting the feminist angle to it.

P.S.-As one of the monologue in the play reaches a climax the narrator in throes of passion says “I am the vagina “.

Sorry I am much more than that.I am the shallow lazy easy going person

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. March 10, 2008 6:56 am

    Feminism is also about finding the right guy and dumping the wrong one. Men so that all the time, so why shouldnt we??

    Devil

  2. Anu permalink
    March 10, 2008 2:49 pm

    Wooo hoo…very practical explanation.. agree with most of the stuff here specilly so lazy to fit ambition suiting for it ..-:)

  3. rashakalnikov permalink
    March 14, 2008 1:42 pm

    brilliant…will make this read to my gf, if she talk about me getting a job anytime soon….

  4. lostonthestreet permalink
    March 14, 2008 4:34 pm

    @ devil :umm.that was not exactly what i had in mind 🙂
    @Anu : hehe we redifine laziness
    @rashakalnikov : when i meet you i will kill you for enjoying life so much

  5. tearsndreams permalink
    November 25, 2008 1:39 am

    great post!
    Its surprising that in this day and age ‘not working’ is a choice that women expect their men to support in the name of feminism.
    I can understand taking a break for a few years to raise a child though. That to me is a vicious circle where women earn less (because mostly they are younger and less experienced or societal expectations makes them choose a better settled guy)and end up staying at home to raise children because it makes sense for the one who earns less to make the sacrifice.

  6. November 20, 2009 4:58 am

    What about children? Educated women who don’t work to take care of their children instead of paying someone else to do so? At least around here, that’s the biggest reason women don’t “work”. Are Stay-at-home mom’s lazy???

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      November 20, 2009 10:57 am

      didn’t quite get your question.I am a non native speaker of english,so please explain things to me clearly 🙂

  7. November 21, 2009 12:52 am

    I have to agree, though I am one of those lazy slobs right now (though woe to whoever dares call me a housewife: I’m “on a break”, so there). Of course, excluding stay-at-home parents, who seem to have more than enough on their hands! I don’t think it’s fair to expect men to take on the responsibility of earning money. For instance, I hope to go back to work in a few months and then the Guy can take his turn at having a break (if he wants to, then).

    Feminism advocates equality and not stereotyping people based on their genders. I think what you suggest is perfectly in line with feminism.

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      November 22, 2009 11:40 pm

      you don’t beat me in laziness..i guess we both join workforce at the same time..we need to drink to that..
      coming to ur comment “I think what you suggest is perfectly in line with feminism.”..But i wonder if that is what is practiced in reality?I mean how many men do we know who got to take a break because their partners are supporting them??

  8. November 24, 2009 10:06 pm

    I know. But then, that’s why we need feminism, to encourage equality. Call it what you will, we want men and women to be equal, to be treated as people, regardless of what kind of genitals they have.

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