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Will the slip actually be pink in colour?

November 7, 2008

..I wonder ,everyday, as I go to office thinking Today is the last day!!And its more like a Russian Roulette, or a corporate version of the reality show “Survivor”. Its like bloodbath in office.So much so that if you don’t see someone for a day you tend to assume the worst.

Rumours are afloat a dime a dozen (but of course, times like these are the heaven sent for rumour mongers, and I will tell you in a while how I unwittingly added to the gossip mill). It seems the ones fired got to know of it when they were unable to log on to their computers in the morning. When they called up the tech desk,they were asked to get in touch with the business heads. AND THAT IS WHY I NEVER SHUT OFF MY COMP except when I go on a week long vacation ,at the least.A few watts of energy saved Vs a nice paycheck.Hmm..I know which one I am picking.

I told a colleague next to me that we ought to start mailing ourselves the important documents before they shut down our inbox. He was anyway nervous since he is in the US sales teams and all the funds he has been servicing has almost shut down. As  I was telling him this, he sent me a forward, which unfortunately bounced. Poor guy was shitting bricks till he realised his mail box was full and hence he was not able to send mails.!!!

On my part, I sure have been dressing up for the occassion.More like the Kshatriyas or the Gladiators dressing up before a major fight- especially one where you know you are going to lose no matter what. in the case of the former it will be mostly because of Divine intervention in the form of some stupid boon which Brahma would have given eons ago to the Good-rishi-turned-evil-rakshash.You see, I am not completely out of the dressy mood of my vacation and damn if I let some stupid Crisis get in the way.

What was I talking about? Aaah, my impending doom.

Let me state I work in a 2 member team-My boss and me. We work closely  with an external consultancy firm who sends us some monthly reports. Nothing fancy, but to my boss who can barely about use excel, thats almost like quantum physics.Now with cost cutting , they are planning to do away those consultants too.So of course I am made to duplicate all those reports so we can produce it internally.And I know these sly cretins in my office are waiting for me to finish off those reports and then I am done.So I am doing what you would have done- stretching my work on and on and on and on…“Jab tak hain report, tab tak hain Job” … I actually watched the whole song right now.You should too.And think of Dharmendra as my paycheck..and me flitting around my spreadsheets,trying hard to save my job, Amjad Khan can be my evil senior managers..Geddit.

So anyway here goes the fucks pas of the day.

Anand told me that Bharat, a junior associate, got fired.I was a little surprised since I saw him in the morning meeting and he seemed his usual happy self. Later during lunch, I obviously pass on this to Chandan. But Chandan tells me Bharat has actually resigned (Chandan later claims he said “He heard Bharat has resigned” but I plead deafness now).Aah, that explains why he didnt seem sad. Just then Bharat joins us for lunch and the moment I saw him I blurted out ” Hey I heard you resigned”.Now, in times like these,not everybody is fired.If your boss doesn’t hate you he will ask you to “resign “-sign a backdated resgination letter and leave immediately!! We are a polite firm,thank you! And Bharat knows I have been talking to his senior, so he must have done some mental calculation.”WHaa!!!, who told you? I am not resigning? Where did you hear??.

Bharat, since then, has not been his usual happy self.Atleast when I last saw him. Which was almost 3 hours back.Hmmm.

P.S. -The names used are all fictional.Still if you know someone by those names working in a brokerage firm,call them.They might be jobless now, just as I might be tomorrow morning.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. sid permalink
    November 7, 2008 8:10 pm

    though i heard all of this yesterday..i still enjoyed reading the’s very humorous(if i may dare to call it) post..and very brave of u to write amidst all that is happening around ur desk..we might be experiencing these scenes soon as well 😦
    Me : Atleast comment under a different name and let me be happy that I have genuine readers!! BAH

  2. November 8, 2008 9:28 pm

    well, hopefully no one from ur office is reading this and finding out that he/she is getting fired!!!

    Think of it – that would be just disastrous! Not only was Mr.X fired, but he found out by reading a blog!!
    Me: And see what a story he will have to tell his grandkids

  3. November 10, 2008 3:45 pm

    A brave post indeed! I am not sure how bad things are at your end, but when it gets real bad with me, very strangely, I just stop bothering and start enjoying it, laughing at myself, thinking of alternate careers.. my current favourite is playing a vamp in some K-serial 🙂
    Me :I think there will be lay offs there too now that Kyon ki saas bhi etc etc is also shutting shop

  4. November 22, 2008 1:08 pm

    That’s a funny post. And I am sorry, but if you ignore the wit, I felt this was less of bravado and more of insecurity showing up.

    Poor Bharat…

    Glad that you are in a different team now. I was actually wondering 🙂 So can we expect another post about the transition? 😉
    Me : Too early to make fun of the new team 😉 Yes you are right: it was insecurity garbed in weak attempt at humour


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