The first tag on the street

Nobody tagged me to do this.Which makes me suspect that they don0t want to know 25 things about me . A very good reason for me to go ahead with it

1) My name is Aijioni. This is for the benefit of people who know me only via this blog and complain that lostonthe… quite a mouthful ,and type-ful.

Now that that is safely out of the way ,we can proceed-

2) I take to water like a cat. Rains depress me, beaches are not my kind of a holiday AND I even hate showers.For me its the good old Indian style bucket and mug.I gasp for breath even under a shower.

3)I hate chocolates and too sweet desserts.Infact the smell of chocolates makes me pukish.And rich creamy cakes …urgh.

4)The only flavours I every try out in Icecream are vanilla and fig.Infact for most other things -cigarrettes,lip balm,perfumes,pastries – I never buy the flavoured version,especially if it is fruity.So no menthol cigarettes, or fruity perfumes

5)I am a little bit colour blind.Plus I can never remember those fancy names like fuschia,framboise,tanager,tuberose, jacaranda (Yes I just googled all that).

6) I hate people getting too friendly in the first meeting itself.I start by hating people and then they have to prove me wrong.Infact some of my very good friends are people who I couldn’t stand initially.

7) I have a severe attention deficiency syndrome..Whaat??? We just reached point 7? Oh god why did I even start this.

8)I hate ,absolutely hate ,this new form of writing which includes  “awww”, “muah” ( took me days to figure that one out), abruptly inserting an action phrase in third person ,putting the words within asterix (* walks away hoping everyone got that *).

9) I would kiss the feet of the guy who invented the spel cheker. I am still not sure of the i before e rule.I am not too sure about all the punctuation marks either.I am just confident about the full stop.

10) Fuck, we are not even halfway through.

11) I wish I God had given me the power to regurgitate.I love eating but cannot eat too much at one go.Buffets are a total waste on me.

12) I am totally not dependable. (but I think my close friends already know it).Heck , I don’t even depend on myself.

13)I can NEVER EVER remember anyone’s name the first time..or second..or in some cases even fourth. Infact I never introduce people ,because I fear my brain will freeze midway and I might forget my own name. This especially happens with common names like Amit,Gaurav,Rahul. AND if introduced to a bunch or pair ,I can never get the  names with the faces.In college, I was introduced to a pair of fat punjabi girls, and in my entire three years in college I never remembered which one is Bani and which one is Pooja (real names here btw). We had a family of seven siblings across our house and to this day I don’t know which one is Eli,Mili,Polly etc..

14) I kind of look down on people who tell me their hobbies are -catching up with friends,watching movies,gymming etc etc etc.In my world your mind has to be in active mode for it to be qualified as a hobby.

15) I also look down on people who buy magazines like Good Housekeeping!And adults above the age of 18 who put down Ayn Rand in their list of favourite books, to show their intellectual leaning – the other books on their list being the Sophie Kinsella series. Oh yes, I judge people a lot.

16) I hated my school, because it was stuck in a rut,the teachers (barring a few) were dull and most often than not dumb and the christian missionaries ,I feel, made it a point to never get involved with the locals.They didn’t let us celebrate Saraswati Puja, but we had to celebrate evey teeny little Christian festival(including decorating the picture of Mary in the month of May). The  Christian missionaries and the VHP have the same motive- to convert people.

16)I seriously lack any marketable talent.I can’t sing,can’t dance, can’t write,can’t paint,can’t play, can’t do numbers, can’t do logic,can’t teach. Oh my god, I need to go back to my old corporate job.

17)I ALWAYS reply to mails/smses and take calls.Even if all i do is lie, but I do it.And I cannot understand why others cannot do the same.

18) I am scared of this whole pregnancy business and find it gross. I never ask a pregnant woman how she is feeling because I fear she will give me details – throwing up in the morning,water breaking in the evening, bloated stomach,baby kicking. “Oooh my baby just kicked,touch my stomach”..AAAAAAAAAAAA no way!!!A friend told me her stomach is itching,because the baby inside has started growing hair.I closed the chat window.

19)I am scared of the ladies in beauty parlours. Especially the fancy ones with hep stylists. And i meekly go by whatever they have to suggest, even if that means I come out looking like Cher. In college I used to take my more fashion conscious friends along ,only so that I don’t get bullied into a hair cut.

20) I have small feet. I have often bought shoes from the kids wear-floaters and the like.

21) I hate Rajma,Chole’,Chana and all oily north Indian dishes.They taste the same to me and the end result is the same -an upset stomach.

22)I have never done anything in life with hundred percent dedication- even things I like.

23)I love lying for no apparent reason.I have lied about my name,my age, my profession to strangers when it didn’t matter to them at all.Like feedback forms in restaurants.They have a name for it I believe-pathological liar

24) I hate fantasy books- too many weird names and characters.(refer back to point 13)

25) The end has come,not a moment too soon.

So now tell me all about you, you weirdo.