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Welcome to my lesbian paradise

June 13, 2009

Some time back(maybe yesterday), I saw a tag about women you love (not like). I don’t remember the details so I can take advantage of my temporary amnesia and give my twist to the tag- women you would want to have if you were a lesbian.

I think my tag is way cooler than the original one ,in which everyone’s list had the mandatory presence of Maharani Gayatri Devi , somewhat like having Citizen Kane on the list of Top 10 movies.Tell me how many of you have actually watched that movie.If you have not,let me save you the torture- it is a crashing bore,donot let those intel-types fool you otherwise.Come to think of it, how many of you have actually slept with MGD? Or seen her recent pics,not the sepia tinted ones, with Jaqueline Onassis. Is she alive?

Okay here goes my tag – women who occur in my wet dreams

With her ample bosoms and luscious lips,its difficult to concentrate on what she does best-cook. And oh so effortlessly- and it helps that everything in her kitchen seems to come pre-cut,pre-paste,pre-grind.And she has an appliance for everything.She looks the kind who gets her orgasms by feeding good food to her family and generally one of those Martha Stewart types whose aim in life is to set the perfect dining table and who actually uses words and things like antimacassars.And the way she tastes food by putting her fingers in her mouth and letting out a Mmmmmm .Who am I to deprive her of her pleasure!!!Come to me Nigella.Feed me Nigella.Mother me Nigella.(Oh no, this is like Odepius Complex,except that I am a female.What will this be called then?)

nigella

So when Nigella is busy catering to my baser instincts, this woman can tickle my funny bone every now and then.(e.g.You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” – I read this many times ,just didn’t know it was hers,but that whats google says)

The only good part about her chat show is when she dances ,especially when she straddles the table.Ellen DeGeneres.

Daytime Emmy Awards Show

And this is my original pin up lady. I first saw her on Readers Digest or Parade , I forgot.(See kids, in the good old days before cable , we had but two or three sources of foreign news.The third been the one hour show of Prannoy Roy ‘The World this Week’).Oh what a mole – hers I mean, not Prannoy’s.I too have a mole,but on my nose.Other than that, I think we pretty much look alike-except for the hair colour..and the height..and the weight.. Give me your mole Cindy

CindyCrawford (This is not her best picture,but the one which shows her mole the best)

And since we are getting into specifics, I would love to have this woman’s lips.And her soft lilting laugh..And her sparkling eyes and pert nose. Charlize Theron makes me want to make millions only so that I can woo her princess style

charlizetheron

And once we are out of the bed, you know who I would like to take out for coffee?

Meg Ryan thats who.But only the Meg Ryan of short tousled justoutofbed ohclumsyme hair cut.We will go for coffee,maybe go bowling,or catch up on a movie and then a couple of drinks .Yes I have the dates all planned out.But I don’t think I can do it with her.Sorry Meg, its not you.Its me.I need space in our relationship.Maybe we will take it slowly.I will call you.Sometime soon….

meg-ryan-hair-top

So there you are .Thats what goes on inside my dirty mind.

You might question the absence of any Indians on this list.Actually there are a few -but they are not famous, yet.And I am not sure if my friends/teachers/hostel warden (ok ok the last one was a cliche.In reality, my hostel wardens were pretty much like all hostel wardens – ugly,single,dowdy and frustrated) will be ecstatic to see their name on this list.

Tell me, who features in your lesbian orgy?

P.S.For the straight male readers,withΒ  whom would you want a threesome ?, which guy gets you all hot and sweaty ?

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53 Comments leave one →
  1. June 13, 2009 11:19 am

    What’s with only firang women? πŸ˜‰

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:06 pm

      As explained,the Indians are friends πŸ™‚

  2. June 13, 2009 12:06 pm

    Ha ha ha… Ellen wouldn’t feature in mine! I like my women, feminine! Charlize theron and Paz Vega would be my picks!

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:07 pm

      have to admit, I didn’t know about Paz Vega.You have to fight it out with me for Charlize, babes

  3. June 13, 2009 1:06 pm

    How do you come up with such one-liners? “She looks the kind who gets her orgasms by feeding good food to her family” LOL! πŸ˜›

    Was a fun read. I’m doing this tag too! πŸ™‚

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:09 pm

      hurry up,want to read your list soon

  4. Meluhhan permalink
    June 13, 2009 6:35 pm

    Kylie Minogue. *yummy*

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:09 pm

      List , we want list

  5. June 14, 2009 12:58 am

    The best place to find gay earring and gay earrings along with lesbian earring and lesbian earrings is at Love and Pride. Lesbian

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:10 pm

      How can I delete this spam comment πŸ™‚

  6. Anupa permalink
    June 14, 2009 5:17 am

    First off – completely agree on the Citizen Kane line. Its become fashionable to say that you’ve enjoyed that movie. If I find a person who “truly” loves that movie, I’d stay away!

    And now, the list! hmm.. I guess I’m more the Angelina Jolie.. Megan Fox type! Or rather, they’re more my type! Add Keira Knightley to that too!

    Cindy’s a goddess…Ah ..that mole!

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:11 pm

      dang, how did I miss keira

  7. June 14, 2009 9:42 am

    oh hoo i love the twist to this tag. something i was considering doing when i saw this around the blogsphere. why waste a tag on women without the oomph factor..what say? everytime i see ellen dance on her show….esp the table crossing move…makes me want to go..hee haw πŸ˜‰

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 14, 2009 7:14 pm

      take this tag up,will be fun.:-)

  8. Kamala permalink
    June 15, 2009 9:15 am

    Angelina Jolie, Hally Berry and Salma Hayek. DUH!

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 16, 2009 12:16 am

      angelina jolie will be high maintenance- and psycho.the one who will kill you with an ice pick if you can’t satisfy her all night.Or was that Sharon Stone?

  9. June 15, 2009 10:05 pm

    Let me be the first straight guy to have some balls, and say: Hugh Jackman.

    NOT in wet dreams or anything, ew, but I love his body and his atti-tewd.

    • Anupa permalink
      June 16, 2009 12:09 am

      Good choice! ;)..

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 16, 2009 12:18 am

      If I knew you personally I would have come down to kiss you for that.Till then a virtual hug πŸ™‚

  10. June 16, 2009 12:27 am

    Aww, group hug and kiss. All of you on me.

  11. blinkandmiss permalink
    June 16, 2009 8:03 pm

    ellen degeneres? haven’t seen her dance either. but otherwise, she looks the odd one out in your list.

    • June 17, 2009 12:04 am

      Ellen’s chat show pisses the LIFE out of me, except, as Lost said, when she dances.

      Portia is HOT though. I used to lust after her in Ally McBeal. Ellen must have done something right to land her.

      Lost, if you’re an Indian lesbian (I’m not assuming anything), I have a thousand questions to ask you.

      • lostonthestreet permalink*
        June 17, 2009 12:48 pm

        @ perakath:I am eagerly waiting for the first batch of your thousand questions…
        So her name is Portia? Isnt that some shakespearean character?

  12. June 16, 2009 10:20 pm

    I came here in all eye popping urgency and must say wasn’t disappointed at all!! πŸ™‚

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 17, 2009 12:48 pm

      I am to please my readers.ahem!! πŸ™‚

  13. June 17, 2009 10:57 am

    Your title is really eye catcing…thank gawd you didn’t include Angelina Jolie. Bored of her and her stupid pouty lips. No I don’t find her beautiful or hot. But then, I’m just a straight woman.

    Now if I was a lesbian, I’d find Malaika Arora hotttttt

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 17, 2009 12:51 pm

      maybe i should do one more list-of only Indian women? what say?

  14. June 19, 2009 6:38 am

    “Gayatri Devi……seen her recent pics,not the sepia tinted ones, with Jaqueline Onassis.”

    My blog. Ha..ha..ha..

    Your list and description is apt for the tag. πŸ˜€

  15. June 20, 2009 12:32 am

    very, very well done.

    You’re so cool. Really. Yours is one of the very few blogs which i feel is just so edgy cool. I love it.

    You always give such a lovely twist.

    And I love Meg Ryan…..hmmm…awesome list actually.

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      June 20, 2009 10:40 am

      thank you πŸ™‚

  16. King permalink
    July 16, 2009 5:30 am

    Well i most say u re d coolest.

  17. Asha permalink
    July 29, 2009 4:35 am

    Im not a lesbian and I believe its a sin no I know its a sin because if God wanted you to have sex with a women he would make the parts so you can not only have sex but make children God made Adam and Eve not Adam and steve

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      July 29, 2009 10:44 am

      Even God battles in vain in front of stupidity.I am a mere human.

      • July 30, 2009 7:38 pm

        Haha. Good reply. You tricked me, btw, lost– it turns out you are not only not lesbian, but seeing a fella I know.

    • Dwight Hasbrouck permalink
      June 1, 2011 10:47 am

      AWESOME answer!!!!!!!!! If all the anti-Christ people on this hell bound planet would wake up,look up and educate themselves about the reality of Hell, we would see millions of sad lost souls,SPRINTING,into the loving arms of Jesus! Watch 23minutes in hell on You tube!
      Bill Wiese lays it down hard and real. Bill also leads the viewer to the ONLY One who can cancel our eternal burn notice! {Jesus}
      Live ready folks,eternity and final judgment will take place for EVERYONE, one day. Eternity is a personal choice and that choice lasts 4ever!

  18. lostonthestreet permalink*
    July 31, 2009 10:18 am

    @ Perakath – Now, why would you think I tricked you into believing that I am a lesbian-and what makes you think otherwise? πŸ˜‰
    Fella, you say? I thought it was MM (through FB)..But wait,, you are saying I AM SEEING a fella you know? You know S????

  19. July 31, 2009 1:11 pm

    I don’t know who he is. I only know that I know him! Thus spake the MM.

    S, huh? S, in Bombay… hmmm…

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      July 31, 2009 1:22 pm

      This is intriguing.MM says you know HIM, but you don’t know who he is..
      see these are the signs that you will become a great lawyer .Already you are talking gobbledygook,and now are you going to charge me for every comment you make here?
      ..btw is that guy in your header you?

  20. July 31, 2009 7:41 pm

    I am not speaking gobbledegook. I am speaking English. And I tell you this is unfair– you and MM both know who you and this ‘S’ person are, while I know the identities of neither. I shall get to the bottom of this, nevertheless!

    My header changes every so often, but right now the guy on the right is me, yes. I was experimenting with a scraggly french beard attempt at the time. Sigh.

  21. August 4, 2009 8:16 pm

    Well this is exactally what would turn me on, and ellen just makes me orgasm by even looking at her, but the kiss just makes me wet. I love women more especially the not so feminine ones like ellen mmmhhhhh they turn me on.

  22. Anu permalink
    September 2, 2009 10:24 pm

    I missed this post don’t know when you did it ! But good one and the comments too ! Citizen Kane is super bore, and the list can have some Indian women or may be a different post !

  23. brittany permalink
    September 8, 2009 5:29 am

    lesbian love! (:
    its so awesome!
    gay pride!
    krissie black and brittany baber forever!

  24. Haylee G. permalink
    September 10, 2009 4:49 pm

    What The Hell???

    OMG!! I absolutly HATE ellen degeneres!! She Pisses me off sooo much it is NOT funny! I cant Believe you like her dancing. Itr shouldnt have the right TO BE CALLED dancing. Its Horrible!!!

    Weird Site

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      September 10, 2009 4:52 pm

      Oh then you definitely shouldn’t be around when I dance,lizzie.
      I might have to get the smelling salts or something

      • October 9, 2009 2:30 am

        Ellen comes on @ noon, in Houston. I’ll dance with you via the “telly”. Get daow and have a great weekend!!

      • October 9, 2009 2:33 am

        OOOPS!! Ment..GET DOWN..lost my specs!!

    • October 9, 2009 2:26 am

      Hate is such a strong word. Makes me wonder if you should be around kitchen knives. Join the 21st century, or better yet…drop out!

  25. Haylee G. permalink
    September 10, 2009 4:50 pm

    BTW, I am NOT a lesbian and I think this site is GROSS

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      September 10, 2009 4:54 pm

      Grosses me out at times too.

  26. Jentlee permalink
    October 9, 2009 2:20 am

    I am a” Blog” virgin. Yours is the first I have read. Loved it!! Your list was perfect. I have had my share of female loves in my life but a weired thing happened 6 years ago. I fell in love with a men trapped in a lesbians body. Go figure. He Liked your list, too. Common interests. It works

  27. July 2, 2010 1:16 pm

    wew.. it was the best thing that ever happen to me.. i fell in love with man who was stock in a lesbian body too.. it was my fvorite mistake..

  28. December 2, 2010 4:28 am

    i have so many funny bones in myself that is why i would love to be a comedian ‘**

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