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Happily Unmarried

March 11, 2010

What is it in our book of ethics that make it perfectly acceptable to ask people “when are you getting married” ,but NOT “when are you getting divorced”? See, that’s where we have failed as a society.Asking the wrong questions.Which inevitably leads to heart burn and angst ridden post such as this.If only we would ask  “Why?” to those stuck in a rut because of the holy sanctimony of marriage , the world would indeed be a happy place.

Take it from me. I have shared many a smoke with budding sociologists in JNU, which makes me perfectly eligible to make such wide sweeping observations on “Society: Relevance of the institution of marriage,The decline of ”

This is the key chain to our warm and lovely flat in Mumbai.Do drop by..and leave your views on marriage outside.

20 Comments leave one →
  1. Galadriel permalink
    March 11, 2010 6:53 pm

    Newly-weds in da house lady! I hope people don’t come to me and ask when I’m getting divorced. 😀

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 13, 2010 11:44 pm

      Yes we are still waiting for that post of yours now.

  2. March 11, 2010 8:08 pm

    it isn’t okay to ask a friend stuck in a rut why he/she isn’t getting divorced? i think it is. depends on how close you are to the person involved. but then, i guess if you ‘know’ that they aren’t happy, you would be rather close.
    i honestly don’t think marriage matters all that much. it’s more important to be with someone who wants to be with you and you WANT to be with.

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 13, 2010 11:58 pm

      If you are close enough to ask me when am i getting married, shouldn’t that mean i can ask you when are you getting a divorce?

  3. March 11, 2010 10:55 pm

    sad but true..a lot of folks are stuck in a rutty marriage because of societal pressures!
    i agree with rayshma, its easier to ask close friends and relatives why they aren’t get a divorce.
    i think its easier also for indians living aboard to walk out of a marraige than folks in india. they endure a loveless, hopeless marriage for fear of the shame they think they will bring not to themselves but more so to their familles–it will be a long haul before we start thinking about self first and not worry about other people’s opinions.

    good for you though…you are happy, thats what matters.

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 14, 2010 12:05 am

      doesn’t mean I don’t find other things in my life to crib about 😛

  4. March 13, 2010 9:29 pm

    I agree. I sometimes tell the Guy, only half-jokingly, that we should get divorced and then live together – I so hate the assumptions people make of me because I’m married! But then, if we apply for a divorce, we’ll be asked to show that we aren’t living together or happy together – yet they never ask people to prove the opposite before they get married. Go figure.

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 14, 2010 12:11 am

      hehe.that’s a good idea.Prove that you are compatible before you get married.

  5. Anupa permalink
    March 14, 2010 2:40 pm

    And you know what’s the worst bit.. most of these creatures who nag and question on and on about marriage plans are in no way looking out for you or have your best interests at heart! One wonders why THEY are so worried! Its almost as if its just a duty to society that you’re expected to perform. Infuriating.

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 17, 2010 8:11 pm

      But among these people is my own sister who loves me more than my mom.
      And that’s when I feel maybe I should just go with the flow…

  6. Manek permalink
    March 17, 2010 7:07 am

    So when are you getting married?

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 17, 2010 8:11 pm

      Manek ,who paid you to ask this question . S or someone from my family got in touch with you 😉 Ain’t succumbing yet

  7. March 17, 2010 3:10 pm

    It doesn’t stop here. Once married, ppl would demand to know when do you intend to add to the family. I am married and have a child, so now the big question is – when is the second child coming.. Gaah!

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 17, 2010 8:08 pm

      Eggjactly.. And before you know it you , you are cutting the cake at your retirement party.Ok,maybe I am jumping the gun here but then you get the point right?:-)

  8. Rati permalink
    March 17, 2010 4:35 pm

    This whole thing about not getting married is hyped! Most of the people say so cuz they think its “cool” to be unmarried and living in..I feel it hardly makes any difference..yes in case you are going in for an arranged marriage and planning to stay with your in laws who are super conservative then its a different thing..otherwise its pretty much the same..and whats the big deal-if the relationship doesnt work out you move on-same goes for marriage..if it doesnt work out get out of it and move on..

    • lostonthestreet permalink*
      March 17, 2010 8:07 pm

      then why get married in the first place I ask you???
      I think marriage is going to be a tad inconvenient for me as of now-and most importantly i don’t see any reason as to why I should??
      I am a lazy person.I barely do things I have to.Then why would I want to do something which will be is in no way going to make any difference in my life.
      why why

      • Anupa permalink
        March 19, 2010 3:23 pm

        Completely agree with the – “why would I want to do something which is in no way going to make any difference in my life.”

        Why indeed!

        (Trust me, the whole getting it registered thingy is quite a pain!)

  9. Rati permalink
    March 22, 2010 12:14 pm

    i dont know-i feel it makes a difference..probably not for u since u r already living with the guy..n sometimes its nice to do something for others-what does your boyfriend want? if even he feels the same then chill out..

  10. almas bano permalink
    November 18, 2010 2:02 pm

    strange but true most of get stuck in bad marriage.,becoz of societal pressures or a sense of shame.or for the sake of children and financial reasons.yes the word divorce is quiet devastating because one puts a lot into that relationship . so one is lost without that friendship and togetherness.
    for all this marriage is not the only goal but a sense of togetherness and commitment must be there always,

  11. June 15, 2011 3:27 am

    Awesome document! I¡¯ll rss fix nowadays wth the little feedreader software application!¡­

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